Dear teen me,
I wanted to write you since a very long time, but in some ways, I was scared about the dreadful gaze that I would see when confronting the adult realm you are loathing so much.
Dear teen me, you are actually going through a lot, and had built such a big wall to survive, that it is even protecting you from the good things. You are scared. You have the feeling to not be a part of this world, that all of this is a morbid farce...
In a way... you are right. But being only a spectator will not help.
Dear teen me, I know you distrust the will of people, thinking they must be more fragile than you, who's not feeling anything but pain. You, who have no interest for this reality you despise so much.
But, to shut your mouth and close your eyes, to not be able to rely on others... You know, it is not only because you don't want to worry or bother them: It is because of your own cowardice toward the change. One day will come... when people who you can rely on, will appear.
Dear teen me... the world outside is not so dark, it's not this cold inside: you must be brave. You must try. Even, if it's hurting.
At least: You are ALIVE!
Just leave those masks. Be sad when you are sad, cry when you are about to. Stop to appear stronger than you are. Trust those who already like you.
Ask them for help.
Yes, they will not know what to do. Yes, you will be surely ahead but this is all up to you. If they don't know how to react, if they don't know what will help; just tell them what you really need. Stop to be proud and shy. There is no honour in disappearing, just a big sad hole you will cover with tears.
They do not have to understand you to make you feel better. They just have to like you.
And then, you will not let this bastard adult system wins, you will shine among your peers. You will not feel like a stranger anymore. And yes, without any regrets you will treasure all of your new memories about the things you wouldn't dare to do.
Dear teen me,
"Trust humanity" are not only words. You HAVE to keep faith in you. In mankind.
You have to keep it right and work on it, to learn, listen and understand.
Create one adult of yourself that you will be proud about. And this adult world will not be dark anymore, with you shining among the others.
Dear teen me, as an adult, I can tell... That I will not wasting my time in self-pity and silent suffering.
You know what? Even older, you will continue to grow.
- And that's a relief.
You heard it before, on this theatre, this stage actor, Mr Boujenah made you tremble like a leaf with this simples words:
"An adult is a person who made his dreams come true."
Well, you have some work to do.
I'll catch you later.
Your dear grown you.